Barb and Heather, part II

As I posted earlier, Barb and Heather Rhoads-Weaver are having a boy. He’s due September 15! No names as of yet and they seem to be leaning away from jinxing anything by saying their ideas aloud. I am all for that – very superstitious! Besides, Leah says that people say awful, awful things about baby names.

“Earl? That sounds like a gas station attendant!”

“Sally? Oh, Sally Rogers was the biggest slut in high school!”

The process they went through intrigued me and Barb was kind enough to share some details. I thought it might actually be something others might be interested in, too, and Barb and Heather agreed to go public.

So, my first question was how they chose who would carry the child. Evidently, Heather’s clock was ticking a bit louder than Barb’s and she’s also more established career-wise. They felt like she could take time off and still be in a position to get back in the game, as they say. What a great, fair way to be able to approach it. They are lucky!

They explored many options for sperm donors, including friends and friends-of-friends, but finally went with Rainbow Flag, a sperm bank that primarily serves gay and lesbian families. Their agreement includes that the organization releases the donor’s identity to them when their child is 3 months old AND the donor has already agreed to be known to the child.

And this was the part I thought was really interesting – how the hell do you choose a sperm donor for your child? In some ways, reviewing files and choosing based on questionnaires and forms seems distant and formal. On the other hand, it seems better than methods many women use. *ahem*

Barb said they ordered the profiles of some donors and picked the one that seemed healthiest. She said that the profiles were very detailed and extensive and that she even nixed one because he was a Republican! Um...can’t imagine what gay or lesbian couple would go Republican in any case, but some must. To each his or her own, I guess.

Exciting news was that Heather got pregnant on their first visit to the fertility doctor! But, as Barb pointed out, they didn’t really have a “fertility” problem but were actually just missing an ingredient!

If you are interested, Barb recommended the following clip from NPR’s Story Corp about sperm donors:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6691648&ft=1&f=1021

Congratulations, Barb and Heather!!