Arnie for President!

In my first years in Vienna, all the Wieners were convinced that the 2008 Presidential election would be between Hilary and Arnold Schwarzenegger! It made me crazy! I gave many a Constitutional Law lesson at parties. I can tell you, I was annoying, dashing all their hopes and dreams of 2008 being even more ridiculous than the 2000 "election."

"It's America," they'd say, "You all will just change the law."

Good God. I explained - amending the Constitution to allow naturalized citizens to run for President opens this theoretical big door to a bunch of people 1/2 of America doesn't even want to acknowledge!

Dear natural born US citizen friends -- raise your hand if your teacher or your parent or any adult at all told you, "You can grow up to be president!" We're all told that, you should all have your hands up. In addition to it being a huge fat lie (I mean, 51% of the population is female. How dare you tell me that I can do anything, fuckers?), it also keeps all the little immigrant children from being the same. Just one more way they are the "other." And the Republicans will never want them to feel the same, always want them to be "other," so they'll start with the kids. You can NEVER grow up to be president.

One can always rely on racism and xenophobia, my Wiener friends. And, honestly, don't Austrians know enough about that? It's something our countries share, in some spots and regions more than others, and it will even keep that big, hulking Aryan out of office.